thank you

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Saturday, 16-Jul-2005 14:30:46

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me your chain letters over the past
two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,
blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people
who make these products are atheists who refuse to put
"Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it
causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones
because I could be pricked with a needle infected with
AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since
they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and
don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the
phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the
estrogens they contain will turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are
actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or
feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me
and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a
bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and
make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will
change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and
AOL are sending me for participating in their special
e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people
in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea
will fly over your head at 5:00 pm and the fleas of a
thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this
will occur because it actually happened to a friend of
a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a
lawyer.

Alfredo Abdo
abdo@sprint.ca
Halifax , Nova Scotia
Canada
Tel: 902-454-2002

Post 2 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Sunday, 17-Jul-2005 19:05:02

lol.

Post 3 by synthesizer101 (I just keep on posting!) on Thursday, 23-Dec-2010 19:44:24

Wonder what would happen if you dialed that number. Not going to do it.

Post 4 by maddog (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Sunday, 26-Dec-2010 1:33:42

that chain joke is sent out every single year.